When I first started I wanted help with the BIG things. I wanted the struggle fixed. I prayed for a doctor to fix it. Or a therapist to fix it. Or Karate to fix it.
Nothing fixed it.
I didn’t feel like I was getting any answers to my prayers.
I felt alone and on my own.
When I started realizing it was all up to me. No doctor was helping, therapy wasn’t helping, medicine wasn’t helping, I started praying for the littler things. Things like: is today a good day for him to play with friends?. Is today a good day for an outing, or should we stay home? Is today a good day to play with his siblings or should we do a quieter day?
I realized I was absolutely not alone. That God cared about all of those things. And that all along I was praying for the wrong things. I was hoping and praying for a fix, (and still wanted one every single day if I am being honest), but as I started to take it on and pray for the little things I felt God’s hand, or spirit, or guidance (whatever you might call it) in every single detail. I truly felt guided and tutored about my child, how to parent him, and when to say yes and when to say no.
I couldn’t have learned that anywhere else.
I learned about a different way to love, a tougher love in some ways and then a softer more compassionate and understanding love in other ways.
I learned how similar we were. I learned more about myself as I helped my child and allowed God to teach me in small ways, day by day. I learned better how to set limits for myself as I learned to set limits for my child.
I learned how to understand and relate the conferences and books I was reading to our particular situation. What mattered and could help us and then tune out what wasn’t going to be helpful to our situation.
I learned to remain calm in the craziest of situations. I couldn’t have done that without God and prayer. No way. But because He helped me understand what was happening I was calmer, more compassionate and more kind. I was able to not personalize the behavior aimed at me and know that it was more aimed at himself, which allowed me to be more compassionate.
As I trusted the guidance, and relied on it more and more, I strengthened my ability to be still, to listen, and to hear and feel the promptings and guidance. In turn then I realized the absolute importance of being still for healing and was able to help my child learn to be still and feel as well.
God Cares
God knows
God Loves
Trust in Him to help you and guide you. You are never alone. Maybe He leads you to someone that could give you some relief, or some guidance or maybe He guides you Himself. I do think though that a big part of the process for me anyway was really owning and knowing that it was a problem that was up to me to do the work on and just rely on Him for assistance and guidance.
**I use the term God because that is the language I use for myself. However I don’t know that I believe it is God himself guiding me :) - Maybe it’s the Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit, or maybe by praying I am accessing helping angels :) - I really have no certain knowledge of this. But for me it’s easiest to say “God”. What term do you use?
