Back when I started doing respite I would get so anxious before the kids came. Wanting to make sure I had the perfect plan all set.
Two hours in, every plan I made would be scrapped. And I learned quickly I needed a plan B, C, and D at the ready.
It’s the exactly the same at New Hope. Because as we get to know each child in the beginning we change their plan. Sometimes drastically, but most of the time just tweaking it.
Sometimes we can make comparisons. He’s kind of like ……. But no two kids are the same or could have the same plan. Even after 25 years.
I wish we could just have 3 plans and choose from those 3 plans for each child but it just can’t work that way if we want to have make a difference. It would make it so much easier. I think that is why our kids can struggle so much in public school too. They just don’t fit within the 3 ( or more) options that are available.
We often are approached by parents to write a book, or train a school, or train a church community. After all we have been doing this for 14 years and then 10 years before that at home. The problem with a book or a training is every child is SO unique.
Yes there are similarities but each child has had different experiences.
Then they are in a different families that handle those experiences and behaviors that come from those experiences differently.
And those families have had their own experiences that cause them to parent differently from another family.
And then each family has a different amount of siblings with their own variety of needs that pull at the parents.
Some parents are single and that changes things for their child.
Some parents can’t get on the same page and that changes things for their child.
It’s so hard.
Working with families one on one for a long period of time is the only way we have found to truly make a difference in their lives.
There are many good books out there - here are a few of our favorites:
The Body Keeps the Score
Simplicity Parenting
What Happened to you
Widen the Window
The Deepest Well
READ READ READ.
It’s so important to read and keep reading and re reading the books that call to you, so you can stay in logic and apply the applicable things to your child and your situation. Go to conferences by any of these great authors. Listen to podcasts that strengthen you.
Read and read some more, and then practice stillness. So that you have time and space to FEEL, feel what you need for your own self care, and then what your child needs in order to make the progress you desire.
XOXO
